Building Inclusive Children's Ministry

It’s that time again when most religious leaders say they see the highest attendance rates of the year! Many people attend church for the first time on Christmas Eve, and this experience can leave a lasting impression on their spiritual journey. Parents of children with special needs often feel isolated and ostracized from community support and social settings that do not explicitly cater to their child’s specific disability. Families of children with special needs need access to welcoming, understanding, and loving environments that will provide ongoing encouragement and support. Church leaders must plan to provide ongoing support for families of special needs children.

Here are some practical tips your house of worship can implement to build a more inclusive children’s program:

1)        Have a quiet/sensory-friendly space available, but do not segregate children with special needs.

Inclusion is the BEST practice. Fully integrating children with disabilities with typical peers helps them learn more and practice prosocial behavior, and their peers learn love, compassion, and empathy. It is mutually beneficial to keep all kids in the same setting.

HOWEVER, a typical Sunday School setting may become overstimulating for any child. The bright lights, loud music, multiple transitions, and unknown schedules pose challenges that may prompt a child to need a sensory break. Having a quiet, dimly lit space available can help a child reregulate. Including things like a single-person trampoline, fidgets, yoga mats, books, and/or a sensory path may be helpful.

Dysregulated children are working in their sympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system controls the fight or flight response, leading to maladaptive behavior. Some children in FIGHT mode may need to increase sensory stimulation through jumping, stomping, pushing/pulling heavy objects, yoga, fidgeting, etc., to calm down. Others in FLIGHT mode may require retreat. Confined spaces such as a tent/teepee or hiding under a table provide the relief they need to soothe. They may utilize a sensory swing if one is available. These children need to retreat from the overstimulating environment to reregulate. A knowledgeable and supportive adult should supervise all time in a sensory space, and a child should never be locked in or left alone.

2)        Train your staff and volunteers on the characteristics and needs of common disabilities.

All children have unique needs, regardless of their disability; however, training staff and volunteers about typical behaviors and needs commonly seen can help provide a safe, welcoming environment and make your team feel empowered to meet the needs of new families. I offer coaching and training to children’s ministry teams!  

3)        Use a peer buddy system

Don’t just train your adult volunteers! Identify and empower teenagers/youth with knowledge and skills to be a helpful buddy. Helping as a buddy increases feelings of inclusion and allows your youth to practice caring for others. Buddies can assist with activities, transitions, and supporting communication.

4)        Have visual aids available for all children, not just those with special needs

Visual schedules, timers, and directions can help support communication and positive behavior for all children, not just those with disabilities. Visual communication cards or a core board can help children with delayed language communicate their wants and needs positively. I can work with you to develop a core communication board and schedules tailored to the needs of your program!

5)        Communicate with the parents

Parents know the needs of their children the best. Ask them about their child! Most parents are happy to share, and your curiosity and willingness to learn about their unique child communicates acceptance, welcome, and love. Essential questions would be:

 “Are there any specific triggers that may cause challenging behaviors?” “What are some of your child’s favorite things/motivators?”

“Does your child have any specific communication needs or signals we should know?”

“How does your child’s disability impact their ability to wait for a turn, follow routines, or work with others?”

“What strategies do you use at home? We would like to maintain a consistent environment as much as possible.”

I would love to work with your church or organization to create environments where children with special needs thrive, and their families can access the support and community they desperately need.